New and very very nervous..

Hi all...

Well, I don't know where to start! First of all, I'm very new to this so i apologise if i say anything wrong or I seem ignorant. I am still learning and I must say have a lot to learn..

Im 21 years old girl and born into a strict irish catholic family. I've been brought up a catholic and have went to church and taught the catholic religion, however, since around the age of 14, I didn't feel that I could make any sense out of christianity as a religion and stopped attending church. Deep down, I always knew that this wasnt the right religion for me and have always felt out of place. I met someone around a year ago who has taught me about islam. At first, I was just very interested in finding out about the islamic beliefs and the reasons behind it. This then turned into something more and now I really want to start following islam and become a muslim.

However, I am so scared.. there are so many reasons why I'm scared.

I havent discussed this with my family yet, as I know they won't understand and will not accept the path I want to follow. I'm terrified they will disown me, my father especially. I love my family so much and I don't know what I would do without them.

I'm also scared that I won't get accepted by other muslims in the community. I feel that many of them will look at me and laugh or think I'm not up to standard, or make me feel like because I'm not a born muslim, then i'm not a true muslim. I don't know why I feel like this... possibly from past experiences speaking with muslims who have mocked other white girls for converting.

I have not yet converted as I feel I still have a lot to learn, and have to live like a proper muslim before I can convert.

I would be so grateful if anyone could give me advice on this, as it's something I feel so strongly about.

Thanks,

C.